IT’S 1:19 A.M. MY COUSIN JUST SENT ME THIS PICTURE WITH NO CAPTION I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
"butter me up, sunshine"
my mom has been a cop for over 20 years and she is the one who constantly warns me about police aggression and young male cops and told me that if you’re ever alone on a rural road and a cop throws their lights on to put on your four ways and drive to the next gas station before stopping because so many cops are scum and it’s not worth the chance of getting hurt. the fact that SHE feels the need to tell me this shit scares me to death
getting a good grade on a test you were sure you failed
spice up your sex life by rubbing paprika on your genitals and/or butt
i never understood how in movies the parents didnt believe in Santa but he was actually real like who the fuck did the parents think put the presents under the tree like what